I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Fuck appropriateness.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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