2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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