your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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