in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish i was in the wii world.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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