I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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