make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
