Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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