Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
