PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
