good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
