It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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