Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
