well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All the doctor said was why
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
