who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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