What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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