Kiss
Puke
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
