I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
