this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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