Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
