I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
