I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
