All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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