What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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