too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize