Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No stitches, just platelets and will power
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
