We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
