Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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