Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
