How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
