Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
