I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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