its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
