i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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