when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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