im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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