thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
