I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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