Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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