taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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