were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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