What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
