i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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