that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
