i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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