What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
