I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just found puke in my bra..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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