Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
should my penis look like a turkey
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize