google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
