This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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