There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
