I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
