oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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