problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Randomize
