PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
