she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
