Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
